this is the stuff of susie(’s)

I’m blogging daily for those crazy kids at CollegeOTR. Fair warning: tomorrow I’m writing about Brooke Hogan. Sorry, guys, but I want the page views!!

You’d think that with all this common ground in fashion, they’d be able to agree on something else–but apparently not.

So! On to the important stuff. Like, who wore it better? I think Medvedev has the most powerful sleeve length, and Putin might need to take his jacket to the tailor–or go on the Master Cleanse!

A recent study by Montreal’s Concordia University has shown that rats choose mates much not at all like people: the men prefer the hard-to-get, not the slutty one. This “Montreal male” referred to in the article has clearly been schooled in the Annihilation Method: he knows what it takes to lure a quality lady these days. I’m going to call this rat… Modèle. So this Modèle, he likes a classy woman, right? La modestie, that really turns him on. Or is it just the thrill of the chase? Is it all a terrible Game?! Is Modèle playing right into the hands of those damn Rules women. “When you really don’t like a guy, they’re all over you, and as soon as you act like you like them, they’re no longer interested,” generation-spokeslady Beyonce says of the Rules. Well, shit! If only Mrs. Brisby hadn’t thrown herself at Justin all the time, maybe things could’ve worked out differently.

And: In other rat-related news, the Department of Health has officially closed the rat-infested Village Taco Bell/KFC. Shock and aww: is Gobo next?!

Apparently “weird man” Bob Dylan has been hanging around an unnamed Calabasas elementary school and scaring the young children (including his own grandson, Jakob?) with his guitar–and maybe also with that hat.

Considering these are the kinds of children who will, in a few short years, be hanging out at the Commons and listening to Incubus (and a few short years later be kicked out of the Commons for smoking cigarettes and still listening to Incubus), it’s not too surprising that Dylan is too “weird” for them. That being said, I think he’s a little too weird for me, too.

Anyway, this kind of de facto music class is an interesting move on the part of the Las Virgines School District. I look forward to little scion Jakob Dylan’s progression through the system: perhaps the 2017 CHS musical will be The Times They Are A-Changin’? They could get the rights super-cheap–you know how they roll in C-town.

+ LA hospitals dumping discharged patients on Skid Row: Some are homeless — and some aren’t! And they wonder why everyone knows Los Angelinos are idiots.

+ Sixapart launches Vox: Better switch over those LJ accounts, kiddies.

+ Gay marriage in NJ: Maybe Jersey isn’t worthless after all. Who knew?

+ Free papers flood subway: But the New York Press sure is! (Just kidding maybe!)