this is the stuff of susie(’s)

Roommates.com felt the lengthening arm of the law this week when the 9th circuit pinched them for discrimination in a suit brought by (who else?) the San Fernando Valley. The site provides a matching service in which potential roomies have the option of requesting matches with particular genitals and proclivities (more or less).

I feel like this is akin to telling a potential employer your age and then slapping them with a discrimination suit since they aren’t allowed to ask. Roommates.com provides no actual housing service, just a social matching one, not to mention that you can decline to complete any of the “discriminatory” fields.

OkCupid, you guys are totally next. Get rid of those damn drop-down menus, though, and everything will probably be fine.

Apparently “weird man” Bob Dylan has been hanging around an unnamed Calabasas elementary school and scaring the young children (including his own grandson, Jakob?) with his guitar–and maybe also with that hat.

Considering these are the kinds of children who will, in a few short years, be hanging out at the Commons and listening to Incubus (and a few short years later be kicked out of the Commons for smoking cigarettes and still listening to Incubus), it’s not too surprising that Dylan is too “weird” for them. That being said, I think he’s a little too weird for me, too.

Anyway, this kind of de facto music class is an interesting move on the part of the Las Virgines School District. I look forward to little scion Jakob Dylan’s progression through the system: perhaps the 2017 CHS musical will be The Times They Are A-Changin’? They could get the rights super-cheap–you know how they roll in C-town.

Sandra Tsing Loh is a pretty funny lady; I especially like her piece on the This American Life Best-of compilation, Lies, Sissies & Fiascos – it’s pretty funny! But this stuff is even funnier.

Sandra, along with fellow LA parent Christie Mellor, is organizing martini playdates for parents interested in sending their little possibly-genius children to magnet schools in Los Angeles.

The parents just don’t know where to start! Test baby Benedict in vitro or wait it out to start a 5 a.m. pre-preschool practice face puzzle regimen circa age 2.7? And speaking of those numbers - how do those even work? If baby Cabana Anne is .2% Cherokee princess, do you multiply that to her 10 white points or to the total score?

As I recall, the hard part was withstanding the long waiting lists, not adding up your potential points. If you’re that confused by this stuff, I hope you’re sure about Baby Einstein’s IQ score. Then again, as the child of parents who were at one time interested in sending their little possibly-genius child to magnet schools in Los Angeles, I can’t help but wonder how my parents would’ve felt about these events 20 years ago. They don’t drink much, so a tasty cocktail or two might’ve been enough liquid courage to save me six years of half-assed public schooling on illegal steroids.

That’s like a lifetime in to-and-from school bus ride hours. Damn you, Sandra.

+ LA hospitals dumping discharged patients on Skid Row: Some are homeless — and some aren’t! And they wonder why everyone knows Los Angelinos are idiots.

+ Sixapart launches Vox: Better switch over those LJ accounts, kiddies.

+ Gay marriage in NJ: Maybe Jersey isn’t worthless after all. Who knew?

+ Free papers flood subway: But the New York Press sure is! (Just kidding maybe!)