martinis and magnets: sipping parents stress to survive

Sandra Tsing Loh is a pretty funny lady; I especially like her piece on the This American Life Best-of compilation, Lies, Sissies & Fiascos – it’s pretty funny! But this stuff is even funnier.

oh my god, I'm so confused!Sandra, along with fellow LA parent Christie Mellor, is organizing martini playdates for parents interested in sending their little possibly-genius children to magnet schools in Los Angeles.

The parents just don’t know where to start! Test baby Benedict in vitro or wait it out to start a 5 a.m. pre-preschool practice face puzzle regimen circa age 2.7? And speaking of those numbers - how do those even work? If baby Cabana Anne is .2% Cherokee princess, do you multiply that to her 10 white points or to the total score?

As I recall, the hard part was withstanding the long waiting lists, not adding up your potential points. If you’re that confused by this stuff, I hope you’re sure about Baby Einstein’s IQ score. Then again, as the child of parents who were at one time interested in sending their little possibly-genius child to magnet schools in Los Angeles, I can’t help but wonder how my parents would’ve felt about these events 20 years ago. They don’t drink much, so a tasty cocktail or two might’ve been enough liquid courage to save me six years of half-assed public schooling on illegal steroids.

That’s like a lifetime in to-and-from school bus ride hours. Damn you, Sandra.

Comments (1) to “martinis and magnets: sipping parents stress to survive”

  1. Ah, funny. LA magnet schools are really an experience. Besides the rather amazing education one gets, the idea of driving for over 20 minutes to get to high school rather than walking 5 should not be encouraged. especially with alcohol. I mean, what advice could one give? “You should lie about your child’s ethnicity for 3 more points. You don’t have another child? Quick, adopt one who is already in the school for another 4!”

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